10 Ways to Avoid Negativity and Feel Happier

Ever feel like there are so many external factors impacting your happiness?

Obviously, factors out of your control can impact your emotions and mood.  Anything from traffic, to toxic relationships, to politics at work can set you up for feeling drained and being reactionary.  But, you can fortify your emotional and mental well-being in simple ways that can have profound results.  I promise!  Research proves it. In essence, you’ll be able to respond to situations in a way that is healthier and preserves your good mood.  

Imagine a happier life – – based on the actions you take.

Below are 10 actions you can take regardless of what is happening in your life to secure or recapture happiness.  If practiced consistently, you’ll be able to better maintain your positive attitude or rebound more quickly from a dip in your happiness. Check out the actions below and practice them by trying the exercises that follow each action step. Then, let me know what you think?

• Focus on Gratitude Daily

Gratitude can fortify your emotional well-being by transforming your energy and reinforcing positive expectations.  Your brain actually notices patterns to more easily process all of the input it receives. So, if you keep thinking about what you’re lacking, you’ll keep noticing what you don’t have. And, you’ll keep thinking you’re not getting what you want.  

If you shift your thoughts to focus on what you do have and what makes you happy, your brain will continue to notice the abundance in your life, leaving you feeling grateful and ultimately happier.  Fortunately, expressing and feeling gratitude is a choice that can be exercised at any time.

Exercise: Acknowledge 3 things that went well today or that you’re happy about in your life.  

Neuroscience shows that practicing gratitude or just thinking about what you’re grateful for releases dopamine and serotonin.

• Practice Radical Forgiveness

An important step to avoid negativity is eliminating old resentments and forgiving not only others, but also forgiving yourself. Holding on to grudges can block your ability to love. After you release yourself from any past pain and truly love yourself, you can move on to receiving love, and in turn, you’ll be able to give love more freely.  

With forgiveness creating more room for love, you’ll feel more open to love for yourself and ultimately for others. And, you can make choices to experience your life in a whole new way to feel happier.

Exercise: What is one thing you could forgive yourself for today?  

Check out the book Radical Forgiveness: A Revolutionary Five Stage Process to Heal Relationships, Let Go of Anger & Blame, and Find Peace in any Situation.

• Be Present in the Moment

Negativity arises when we’re ruminating about what happened in the past or worrying about what could happen in the future.  In the present moment, all is probably well.  So, to stay present, ask yourself “What is absolutely true in this moment?”  

Even if there are issues in your life, ask yourself “What else is true?” For example, I’m alive, I have a great family, etc. You’ll experience a sense of peace, and then have access to greater joy in that moment.  Being present in the moment helps you be grateful for the gifts in your life.  

Exercise: What is true as you’re reading this blog post?  Name 3 empowering truths.  

To learn more about practicing how to be in the present moment, check out this newsletter about present moment awareness and mindfulness.

• Stop “Shoulding” on Yourself

When you’re doing things you feel like you have to do, you can feel drained and get into a bad mood.  Letting go of the “shoulds” in your life is a quick and easy way to become energized.  Just take it off your to-do list and trust it’ll get done if it absolutely needs to get done.  

But, if there is an item that is a must (like paying taxes) here’s a tip: shift from an activity that feels like one you “have to do” to one that you “want to do” by re-connecting with the purpose of why you’re doing it. (For example, I pay taxes because I have my own business and want to continue this liberating lifestyle.)

Exercise: With all of your activities, ask yourself why you’re doing each one?  

If the activity doesn’t connect with one of your values, see if you can drop it or refashion it to fit a value.   

• Take Time to Recover

If you’re feeling run down, you can experience more negativity in your life.  So, identify activities that can help you refuel and schedule them into your calendar by making appointments with yourself daily and weekly for better self-care.

I know just preparing for my rejuvenation period (whether it’s thirty minutes a day or a weekend away) gets me energized.

Taking care of yourself with daily positive habits and regular periods of rejuvenation will help generate energy to pursue the life results you want and feel happier.

Exercise: Go to your calendar (now:-) and schedule one recovery period each day this week.  Even if it’s 15 minutes, it’ll make a difference.  

For more easy tips on taking time to recover, check out this article “Doing” Isn’t Always the Answer. 

• Eliminate Toxic Relationships

Often times, toxic relationships can feel depleting and ultimately weaken your drive. Look at your community, embracing and acknowledging those who make you feel alive.  And, consider those people who might not propel you forward or support you.  

You might be able to change the dynamic of a relationship to be more energizing.  If not, it could be helpful to eliminate that relationship but in a way that honors both of you.

Exercise: Ask which relationships nurture and strengthen you? How can you connect with these people more?

For principles to help you determine which relationships to hold on to and which to let go in a respectful way, check out this article “How to Identify Nurturing vs Toxic Relationships – and How to Break Negative Ties.”

• Let Go of What Doesn’t Serve You

We’ve all experienced self-doubt and negative self-talk (which is basically based on our fears).  To move past what holds you back, you have to recognize this major inhibitor—the negative voice inside you that tries to keep you safe by reminding you of what can go wrong or how you might not be enough.

It’s  important to be aware of that voice and how it influences the way you think, feel, and behave. But don’t let it run your life or let it lead you to worry about the past or fear the future. Just acknowledge it and even thank it for helping to protect you. Then, live in the now, be grateful for what you have in this very moment, and visualize what you want in the future as if you already have it today.

Exercise: Think of an area in your life where you’re not making progress.  Notice the thoughts that come up about why you’re not moving forward (e.g., “I don’t have enough experience to get that new job.”) Consider that the thought isn’t entirely true.  Focus on what else is possibly true (e.g., “I can learn what I need to get that job.”)

For exact next steps on how to minimize fears, doubts, and negative self-talk, check out this article “Get Unstuck & Move Toward Your Dreams.”

• Write Down Your Goals

Evidence shows that your brain can adapt to the intentions you set, so writing down your goals increases your commitment to and your chances of achieving them and gaining success.

Research shows that just having clear goals actually makes you feel happier. The mere act of setting and pursuing goals can affect your happiness, regardless of whether you attain them. The idea is that if you commit to an objective, you’re more likely to enjoy the journey toward achieving it. When you enjoy the journey (i.e., life) and feel good, you’re more likely to attain a better outcome and get closer to the results you want.

Exercise:  Write down 3 goals (or desired outcomes) you’d like to attain in the next 3 months.

Review them daily to determine one small step you can take to achieve them. 

• Go Out in Nature

The Chopra Center shares how spending mindful time in nature can help us feel happier and healthier. Chopra’s experts state that “our brains are wired to respond to the smells, sights, and sounds we receive outside.”  Science backs this up with research showing how we can decrease stress, improve our mental abilities, and increase positivity by being outside.

Eckhart Tolle also affirms this when he states in A New Earth: Awakening To Your Life’s Purpose that the recognition of beauty (in particular, in nature) helped the evolution of human consciousness.  The recognition of beauty awakens us to our true nature.  “The feelings of joy and love are intrinsically connected to that recognition.”

Exercise:  So plan time outside daily or take a quick trip outside if you feel a negative mood start to set in.  

For more information on how being outside can benefit you, read this article 7 Reasons to Spend Mindful Time in Nature.  

• Get in Your Exercise

We’ve all heard that exercise can help release stress and it also helps energize us in the long run. Studies show that the stress hormone cortisol is reduced while exercising and the happy hormone serotonin is boosted.  There are many experts who can provide advice on these subjects, but here is my favorite combo of exercises: aerobic exercise, strength training, and flexibility movements. 

Stretch or cool down after exercising to release the toxins that build up in your body while exercising. If you don’t do it right after you exercise, your body might have to work extra hard to release them throughout the day, leaving you feeling sore and tired later in the day.

Exercise:  Can you plan to get 15 minutes of exercise in every day for the next 21 days?  

Do it consistently to build the habit.  Then, you can increase to 30 minutes or longer over time so it more naturally becomes a part of your lifestyle.

I hope you can see there are simple steps you can take daily that can fortify your emotional and mental well-being ultimately safe-guarding you from negativity (well, as much as possible).  These actions don’t require big changes, just small shifts.  And, over time, you’ll feel empowered as you continue to shape your life into one that you love.

Which practice will you try today?

*Portions of this blog post were originally featured on Bustle.com as I was interviewed for an article about my tips to avoid negativity and feel happier.