When Love Doesn’t Come Easy

Love isn’t always easy. Obviously, there’s more to it than swiping right. So, what if there was a way to feel good even when you don’t get what you want?

Recently, I was talking with a client about the tough time she’s having with her romantic partner. And, we uncovered that she really just wanted to feel connected. Often times, we can get attached to what connection has to look like – e.g., being with a certain someone. So, what we need to remember is that as human beings, we want to experience certain emotions – peace, love, connection, joy, etc. Ideally, we can stay focused on what we desire to experience (in this case, to feel connected) and detach from how it needs to look. For example, if you’re not feeling connected to someone you’re dating, you can experience that with a good friend. But, this client resisted connecting with a friend because she wasn’t in the mood for a deep conversation.

Another Approach to Loving and Living

This conversation reminded me of when I was going through my divorce years ago and didn’t tell anyone about it for months. No one. Not friends or family. I felt like a failure, plus I wanted to go through it in a way that honored my husband and me. So, it was difficult to interact with loved ones.

BUT, I read about a study back then that revealed even small interactions with someone can feel good and like you’re connecting. It suggested going window shopping or entering a store as there is usually someone there to greet you. So, whenever I needed a boost, I’d go get the mail and say hi to my doorman. And, it worked!

How To Feel Micro-Love

I came across this article Micro-Love from Equinox that shares the same results. It reinforces how even small interactions with others can feel good. And, they provide an important distinction. The key is to really “feel” the connection and to acknowledge it.

So, what if you celebrate love today by taking an extra moment when you get a cuddle with your son or daughter or some other interaction with a friend/colleague and really recognize the feeling of love and connection? #happyvalentinesday