“Men Occasionally Stumble Over the Truth, But They Pick Themselves Up and Hurry Off”
– Winston Churchill
How often have you had to face the truth, but would rather look the other way? Or, have you ever wanted to share something with someone who might be ignoring their own truth?
As a life and career coach, my job can be summed up as connecting people with their truth. It can be so rewarding. But sometimes, facing the truth or having someone face their own truth isn’t very fun (at least in the moment).
I recently shared a difficult truth with a client. I was so impressed with her ability to hear it, accept it, and take action to address it. But, it can be scary to get really honest and tell someone or admit to ourselves the truth about our lives.
Two Tenets for Sharing the Truth
Before I shared the truth with her, I made sure to take 2 simple steps I keep in mind whenever speaking with my clients.
- Confirm I have established trust in our relationship
- Set up the client for what I am about to share in a gentle (even playful) way
These steps may seem obvious. But, I know I’ve not always used them in the past when speaking to people I care about in my life.
A Simple Process for “Being” with the Truth
In fact, those tenets reminded me of 3 questions you can ask yourself before sharing a truth with someone:
- Is it true?
- Is it kind?
- Is it necessary?
Let’s break these questions down:
- Is it true?
Is what you’re about to share a definite fact? The truth can be slippery. Which version of the truth are you thinking about now? There is your truth, someone else’s truth, and somewhere in the middle.
- Is it kind?
Is what you’re about to share genuinely kind or helpful? And, I don’t mean kind as in “I’m going to teach someone a lesson so this is helping them out.” 🙂 It’s more like would you feel good if you received this truth?
- Is it necessary?
Are you sure you’re not sharing to just prove you’re right? If not, what do you hope to accomplish by sharing? And, do you really have to be the one who shares it?
If your comment doesn’t fulfill all 3 questions, ask yourself what is your genuine intention. And, is there another way to meet it?
What hit me the other day is that you can even apply these 3 questions to yourself. If you’re dwelling on something that has happened or realized a truth about yourself that you’ve been avoiding, are you being gentle with yourself about it? And, is it something you really need to consider or just release it? If you need to consider taking action, then do it. But, don’t dwell on it.
Good luck! As my client embodied, with trust and gentility, you can handle any truth, too. Just know that you’ll be ok and, always, be gentle with yourself. Are you ready to face your truth?
