“At some point, all the horizontal trips in the world stop compensating for the need to go deep, into somewhere challenging and unexpected; movement makes most sense when grounded in stillness.
In an age of speed, I began to think, nothing could be more invigorating than going slow.
In an age of distraction, nothing could feel more luxurious than paying attention.
And in an age of constant movement, nothing is more urgent than sitting still.”
— Pico Iyer (PhD in Molecular Biology & Tibetan Monk)
Are you…
* constantly checking in with your to-do list and calendar?
* chasing activity after activity trying to get it “all done?”
As a recovering perfectionist, I admit my first reaction sometimes is to go in to “doing” mode…
However,“doing” isn’t always the answer to getting the life results we desire.
Deepak Chopra reminds us that “we’re human beings, not human doings.”
Are you clear on who you’re being?
Happiness & Productivity stem from clarity…
And, when you’re clear on who you’re being or who you want to become and what you’d like to experience, your action (i.e., what you’re doing) flows naturally from you and is more in alignment with your deepest desires.
The result: you organically attract more opportunities you’d love to experience (versus chasing, pushing, or forcing situations to get a result you want).
How To Check in With Who You’re “Being”
1) Take a Break
The importance of taking a break is exemplified when we consider how our bodies function well and get stronger. Physical fitness experts explain you “get fitter when you’re recovering.” Huh? It’s not when we’re running, lifting weights, or boxing?! Nope! Our bodies need rest to really perform at our best. When we exercise, we’re actually ripping our muscles. After exercising is when we repair our muscles.
During our rest and recovery period is when we actually heal and grow. That is how our emotional and mental well-being works, too. But, with our fast paced world, it feels hard to stop checking our calendars and to-do lists to think about who we’re being. I get it! But, you need to take a stand.
2) Make a Choice
The last 2 years of my life have been a roller-coaster ride filled with tragedy but also so much love and support. During this time, I had a lot to “do.” And, I found myself feeling depleted. To keep moving forward, I knew I had to first STOP DOING. So, I decided to rest and reflect for one week.
3) Pause and Reflect
Basically, I wanted to take time to “be.” I found it hard to really take a break while in the midst of my life in Chicago. Coincidentally, I came across an opportunity to go to La Costa Resort & Spa (in California) and participate in a study at The Chopra Center for its Perfect Health program. (To learn more about this amazing program and how its principles have changed my life, check out my post “Take Your Health – & LIFE – To The Next Level!“)
How To Just “Be”
In the absence of meetings, to-do lists, and commitments, I was looking forward to reflecting, evaluating, and deciding how I wanted to purposefully move forward. Below is what I learned about just “being,” reinforcing why it’s important, and how you can easily integrate rest and reflection periods in to your life at home or while you’re away.
1) Set a Clear Intention
My Learning: Best intentions can get thwarted in a new environment. In the past several years, I’ve made a lot of progress checking in with my truth and setting boundaries in my life while eliminating toxic relationships. But, when I was away in California, some of my old habits came back. I didn’t recognize the potential predators (i.e, energy suckers) that showed up. My people pleasing skills were in full force in this new, vulnerable setting. So, I had to put more effort toward dissolving my past conditioning and old habits.
- How?
- Be specific about your objective for your time off and how you want to feel during this time.
- Why?
- An intention will help you get and stay grounded in your deepest desires (which are born from your best self).
- What Can You Do?
- Do at least one thing a day to help you align with your best self.
- Go in to nature for a brief walk or just a breath of fresh air.
- Connect with your body by noticing your breath or taking on the posture and walk when you’re at your best.
- Bonus Tip: Create a morning and/or evening routine that encompasses several of these types of rituals.
- Do at least one thing a day to help you align with your best self.
2) Make Time to Wind Down
My Learning: I had the perfect plan to make my first full day in California relaxing and rejuvenating. Then, I received a rushed request for my website project. The start of my trip was spent in the hotel and on my computer because I was still in “doing” mode. It took me some time to recognize that I had to go beyond just booking a spa appointment to start feeling relaxed.
- How?
- Plan a transition period between activities in your life recognizing your energy won’t immediately shift to an appropriate state of mind for your new activity just because you decided to take time off or are in a new environment.
- Why?
- This time will help you decompress from your activity, day, week, month or year and prepare you for the recovery period.
- What Can You Do?
- Carve out time from your schedule with the sole purpose of transitioning (and not necessarily relaxing or taking part in a new activity).
- On a daily basis, take 15 minutes (ideally, 30 minutes) to transition from your work day or taking care of your family to your evening.
- To prepare for more significant activities, increase the transition time appropriately. Maybe take 2 hours to transition for a weekend away.
- Bonus Tip: Create a ceremony to symbolize this transition (e.g., walking home versus taking public transportation or lighting a candle and drinking tea).
- Carve out time from your schedule with the sole purpose of transitioning (and not necessarily relaxing or taking part in a new activity).
3) Create Space for Stillness
My Learning: With a busy schedule at home (even doing things I love), I didn’t have as much time (or space) to really grieve my loss from this past year. Knowing I hadn’t deeply processed my emotions, I carved out downtime with nothing planned during my trip. (I know this sounds like it would naturally happen, but it’s not natural for very energetic people:-) Well, my downtime while I was away wasn’t enough. My emotions ran deep, and it affirmed that I needed to create way more down time while I was at home, too.
- How?
- Identify a “structure” to support your intention to “be.” It can be to block off time on your calendar for reflection or just being. Or, create a corner of your space (home, office, or hotel room) that is meant to just rest.
- Why?
- Space will help you feel lighter and give you the energy needed to focus on your intentions and desired outcomes for your life.
- What Can You Do?
- Decide what you’ll let go of to have this new found space and what you’ll do/have to remind you of this space.
- Ask friends, family, and co-workers for support to follow through on protecting this new space.
- Bonus Tip: Ask yourself is there an area of your life where you might be avoiding your feelings? Take the time to really feel your feelings (and notice how you show up in that area of your life).
- Decide what you’ll let go of to have this new found space and what you’ll do/have to remind you of this space.
The Magic of Just “Being”
I’m so grateful I made the time to just “be” so I could remember to make myself a priority, take MORE time to transition between activities, and really create a space for my growth and healing to occur daily. Now, I feel renewed and refreshed. I can be more present for my friends, family, and clients. And, I’m more inspired than ever to continue building on a strong foundation I’ve created for my life.
It’s during reflection time that you can observe and integrate all of your learnings to “see” with new eyes. With a new perspective on your situation, you can make more empowered choices (instead of being a victim of automatic habits and reactions). It’s in the silence where all your answers lie. You need to be still to see and hear them. Sounds hokey, but, it’s true! Turn down the volume in all areas of your life, go within, and listen, witness, observe, feel your feelings, and just BE.
Remember, you have to really reflect on who you’re being. It’s not about checking the exercise off your to-do list. So, observe how you show up in the world, understand your deep-seated beliefs that have you show up in a way that holds you back from your desires, and then feel your real feelings about the situations you’re in. That is where the magic happens…with that deeper understanding, you’ll be transformed and ultimately inspired to take action for a happier life with results you desire.
How to Just “BE” More Often
To make this happen throughout your life, cultivate a consistent and continuous relationship with who you’re being. You could take time according to the schedule below to stay connected with your truth:
- 15 minutes a day (twice a day)
- 2 hours on a weekend day
- a weekend away once a month
- a long weekend away every quarter
- a week (or 2 week) trip once a year
So, get grounded, set an intention, make a plan (but allow life to happen), and create a structure/environment to support you. You’ll be better able to observe your thoughts, feel your feelings, course correct, and take inspired action.
