Have you been judged by others while on your own path?
Have you ever found yourself walking a path that diverges from the norm, only to be met with raised eyebrows and skeptical glances from those around you? In my life, there were many times that I had others question me and my choices or responses to life’s challenges.
Embracing Unconventional Choices:
- When I got divorced, I was judged for remaining friends with my former husband.
- I chose a path of compassion and understanding, one that resonated with my own values and principles.
Honoring Personal Healing Timelines:
- When I needed time to heal after my Dad’s battle with ALS and his death, I had people say how surprised they were that I was still grieving 6 months later.
- Yet, I learned the importance of granting myself the necessary time and space to heal at my own pace, irrespective of external expectations.
Defying Conventional Career Paths:
- When I started my own business, friends would tell me they were surprised I couldn’t get together during business hours to go for a walk–asking don’t you make your own schedule.
- Despite their doubts, I forged ahead with what felt good for my career in a way that aligned with my truths and aspirations.
In many ways, my life and my response to situations didn’t look like others. At times, when I was asked those questions, I felt judged. With deeper reflection, I recognized I was also questioning myself and doubting my choices. So, I often refer to a quote I like by Joseph Campbell, and I share it with potential clients looking to optimize their lives–whether it is with their career, in love, or for their health–for inspiration.
“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path.
Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.”
I love this quote as it’s a great reminder that your journey might not look like anyone else’s even though up until recently you’ve most likely followed the “rules.” For many of my high-achievers, they went to school, got good grades, got the “good” job, and often even got married and had children. And although they might have wanted to experience those desires on some level, they also realize they’ve been pursuing other people’s definition of success and happiness. Maybe they took the job their parents wanted them to take or married the person they thought they “should” have for a stable life. And, that’s great if they are happy.
What if you want something different?
But some people didn’t realize that those milestones weren’t genuine desires until later in life. Then, they wake up and are excited to move forward on a new and different path. It takes courage to do so. Yet, there are people in your life who are still conforming to society’s picture of a “nice” life or conclusions they made when they were younger. Again, that’s ok for their journey if it makes them happy. But they will question you and your choices. They will aim to show you how it’s a bad idea to take this “new” approach in life whatever that might be for you.
Empowering Strategies:
It takes effort to recognize those questions–whether others are asking you or you’re questioning yourself– are coming from a lack of awareness. Notice that if you’re being judged, it’s by people who haven’t walked in your shoes. In my life, I reminded myself that the people questioning me didn’t know what I’d been through personally. So, I practiced the following strategies in those moments.
Cultivate Gratitude
I chose to be grateful and I was genuinely happy that friends questioning me didn’t know what it was like to get divorced at 29 or lose a parent at 39 like I did.
Open to Curiosity
I also learned that it was best to share my dreams and desires with people who might understand my journey better. Even if they didn’t go through my exact life situation, they were more curious and open to other approaches in life.
Drawing Inspiration
Along those lines, another helpful strategy is to be inspired by others who have gone on their own path. Obviously, your steps might look different, but understanding another person’s journey can spark ideas for you. For example, when I wanted to become an entrepreneur, I read Richard Branson’s book and followed other coaches who defined success on their own terms.
So, in the face of judgment, remember that your journey is a compilation of your experiences, aspirations, and choices. All these strategies help to not only preserve your energy but to also encourage next steps that truly align with who you are and what you desire. Embrace your unique path, leverage these strategies, and empower yourself to rise above judgment to experience your authentic journey to achievement and joy!
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Returning to Oprah 21 Day Meditation I discovered InnerBrilliance , which has renewed my hope and dreams of healthy, healing and loving growth of my personal relationships.
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