“If something is familiar, we have clearly survived exposure to it, and our brain, recognizing this, steers us towards it.
Generally speaking, things that are familiar are likely to be safer than things that are not…
it makes sense that familiarity breeds liking.” – Raj Raghunathan Ph.D.
I’ve been speaking in front of others in some fashion for over two decades starting with my advertising and marketing career and for the last 13 years with my coaching business. Up until last year, I continued to get anxious as I prepared for each speaking engagement. Even though I knew these events could inspire others and support my business, I’d literally question why did I agree to do the speaking engagement. I’d hear my inner voice sharing some negative self-talk. I imagine it’s like stage fright for an actor or singer.
The good news was that I knew how to process those thoughts and emotions to get to a place where I was excited to connect with the audience and be of service to them. I even ended up having fun! But, I kept thinking that if I could schedule several of these engagements close together, I’d keep my inner critic at bay. Our inner critic gets alerted when we’re about to do something “different” such as speak to a large audience. My perfectionist tendencies that I’ve worked to overcome tend to come back a bit during these moments of what feels like “performing.” After I set the intention to have presentations more consistently, I let it go.
“Creating positive rituals is the most powerful means we have found to effectively manage energy in the service of full engagement.”
– Loehr and Schwartz
When my business went completely virtual, I heard this phrase often — “You’re the first person I thought of…” or “I knew you’d be perfect for this speaking engagement.” Former colleagues, people I’ve met at networking events, and long-time friends told me they like what I share in my newsletters and on social media. I really appreciated hearing this personally, but I was even more appreciative when they invited me to share my messages with their network via a variety of speaking engagements. I’m so grateful to be introduced to their communities in such a loving way and during such a pivotal time in our collective lives.
So, I began preparing for each engagement as I always do. What I soon realized was that my intention for more speaking engagements was manifesting. Plus, I forgot to get scared, anxious and stressed about them. I had these engagements scheduled so close together while also meeting with my regular clients that I was in continuous action mode, and my inner critic didn’t get alerted. I had my speaking engagement steps on “repeat” and I was continuously taking action. This is one of my favorite tips – take action to mitigate the energy of your inner critic. And, you’ll find yourself in the present moment versus focusing on fear or worry. Plus, you’ll flow through your day and projects. Where is an area of your life where you can focus on small steps to stay in action and achieve your desired results?
