This one is dedicated to my Dad. I know a lot of people have preconceived notions of Italian men and people did of my Dad in particular because he was traditional. But, he made an effort to figure out how to raise a woman 35 years younger than he was and from a different culture…me! He read articles, consulted others, and sometimes he just even asked me how he could support me.

But, throughout the years, I often heard this phrase “your Dad isn’t going to let you do x, y, or z or you better not tell him that…” At 12, it was, “he won’t let you go to college.” At 16, it was, “he won’t let you honor the scholarship you won and go to DC for a week.” At 18, it was, “don’t tell him about an award you won.” When I was young, I didn’t listen to those people. I walked up to my Dad and asked and it was affirmative. (Well, the trip at 16 took a little convincing.) Yes, I stood up for myself. Ironically, it’s probably because that is what he taught me.

Then, around 18, I stopped sharing as much and I started to do my own thing. I was an adult. I didn’t have to share. But, I didn’t want to live such separate lives for so long. And, I learned how to share my truth in a way that honored myself and let him in more.

If you love someone and want them in your life, be kind to those who don’t always agree with you. Meet them with compassion and forgiveness. Release the tension between you and you might be surprised at what happens. He continued to be there for me as he always was and we even started to “get” each other more.

The year before he died, we were closer than ever. I finally told him about the award. He was beaming with pride. Thanks for making me feel equal in so many ways, Dad. Give people a chance, especially if you love them. They want to be there for you. They just might not know how.