Ever feel like there are so many ways to improve your life?
Yet, there is little time to make it happen?
What if you could have a happier life — naturally, organically, & easily?
There are so many gurus out there sharing their wisdom from Deepak Chopra to Gabby Bernstein. And, with a multitude of concepts available to us (from how to be more successful or productive to how to have a happier and pleasure-filled life), it can feel overwhelming to integrate them into our lives or hard to remember to do so.
I remind myself that many of these concepts are innate to who we are and are based on simply being true to ourselves. In my case, I’m an American who grew up with Sicilian immigrant parents. As I’ve gotten older, it’s clear that my parents’ culture and ways are closely connected to ancient wisdom traditions and modern proven ways for living well. Seeing the connections paints a picture of how we can have success and joy in life all at once and that it’s easily accessible. So, I’d love to share what I’ve learned.
What can two Sicilians teach us about living the good life in America?
Below, I’ve listed my parents’ cultural traditions (i.e., Sicilian-Style of living) and how they’re linked to proven ways for living well (i.e., Coach-Approved concepts). I’ve also shared examples from our lives to see how we can easily integrate these traditions/concepts in to our fast paced American lives. Personally, I’ve enjoyed so many aspects of my dual-cultural life. But, I’ve also had struggles balancing between the two lifestyles. So, I hope these connections and examples demonstrate how we can experience success and joy together in what I call a beautiful life.
How to live a beautiful, happier life in an easier way 🙂
Most importantly, we can notice how it’s possible to practice these ways of living by making some simple changes that can feel effortless. They really can be an enjoyable part of our daily experiences versus just a concept we read about in a book or rarely implement. Maybe these concepts will also help you notice other intrinsic, healthy ways of living from your past that can be applied to your current lifestyle.
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Sicilian-Style: Do what you love and the rest will fall in to place (or the money will follow).
When I was 19, I called my Dad to talk about what I should major in at Northwestern. I know I wanted to learn more about psychology, but I didn’t know how I could manage being a therapist and also have a family someday. So, I almost picked another major based on fear. But, my traditional, Sicilian father who had a stay at home wife (my Mom:-) told me to study what I enjoyed and the rest will work out. So, I picked psychology.
Well, he couldn’t have been more right! Now, I’m a life and career coach. My education in psychology – the study of the human mind – is a perfect foundation for my current career (which didn’t exist over 20 years ago). I couldn’t have picked any better. Thanks, Papa!
Coach-Approved: Connect with your true/best self, do what you enjoy, and trust the process of life. You’ll organically attract experiences that fulfill your desires and design a life you love!
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Sicilian-Style: When you work with people you enjoy, it doesn’t feel like work. It’s fun!
When I was first in advertising and working 12 – 14 hour days, I would tell my mom how hard and exhausting my job was and questioned if I should stay on that career path. She told me that if I work with people I enjoy, I will enjoy my work. She continued to share how she would crack up all day with the people she worked with when she was a tailor (and would sew) as a new immigrant in America. I thought she couldn’t relate to the stressful job I had, and I continued to focus on my stress.
Then, one day, I realized I did really enjoy these funny, interesting and smart people I worked alongside. They inspired me to be my best, and they made me laugh when I needed it most. So, I always remember to acknowledge and appreciate people who encourage and support me (especially during the tough times). Thanks, Mama!
Coach-Approved: Surround yourself with people you respect and admire. Be grateful for those who make every aspect of your life more enjoyable.
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Sicilian-Style: Unabashedly show people you love them.
If you’ve ever been around any Italian, you know there is a kiss or hug coming your way (whether you like it or not). For good measure, you’ll probably have that sign of affection followed by a lot of food. This is how my parents lived every day and with everyone. My nieces and nephews grew up near my parents and often brought their friends over to play. My parents aren’t the most hip people in the world, but they always shared their loving home with others.
Till this day, I’ve heard my nieces and nephews’ friends (now young adults) lovingly call my parents “Nonno” and “Nonna” (Grandpa and Grandma in Italian). This type of generosity and warmth from my parents reinforces that it’s not exactly what you do or say, but how you make people feel that makes the strongest impact on them.
Coach-Approved: Be generous and compassionate towards others. It makes them feel better and research shows it positively impacts your own emotional well-being.
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Sicilian-Style: Focus on your priorities – – family, food, and having a good time!
I’m generalizing here, but I’d say family, food, and having fun are TOP priorities for Italians. (It was for my family.) I think those priorities are so pronounced that they can be contagious. It probably explains why I’ve had people ask to have dinner at my family’s home since I was a kid till today (from neighborhood kids to executives in corporate America). I never understood what was so attractive. But, now I can see that the passion you feel around an Italian when it comes to those elements of life is palpable. And, people who align with your passions will be attracted to you.
Coach-Approved: Focus on your priorities and values (whatever those might be) and see how you “magically” attract opportunities to reinforce those elements in your life and achieve life results you desire. You’ll also notice how things fall away in your life that don’t line up with those priorities.
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Sicilian-Style: Use high quality where it matters to you – in our case, food. (And, maybe clothes, too:-)
Enjoy the pleasures of your life. And, the best areas of your life to enjoy pleasures are when they’re in alignment with your priorities. It’s a way to nourish your soul. Obviously, high quality doesn’t mean high-priced. It can simply be the best of what you love (e.g., fresh herbs from your garden).
Coach-Approved: Make an effort to experience what you love. When you’re feeling good, you’re more likely to achieve a better outcome in life. Envelop yourself in high-quality activities, materials, and people ESPECIALLY in areas of your life where it matters most to you. Again, what doesn’t serve you well will fall away, and you’ll attract and be left with what you desire in life. Try it!
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Sicilian-Style: For the best fit, tailor it. Of course!
People who are well-dressed know that it’s all in the fit. You might have heard, don’t blindly follow trends when it comes to clothing you wear. It’s ok to try something new, but we must be sure to fit it to our needs and body. At times, we try to force fit ourselves into things (can we say skinny jeans?) that aren’t really well suited for us. It’s best to wear styles that fit you well, accentuate your assets, and feel best to you! Or, at least, tailor the newest trends to fit your style and body. The same goes for any relationships, jobs, or situations we have in our lives.
Coach-Approved: Be sure you put yourself in situations that build on your assets (i.e., strengths, talents, and values) to ensure the best and most enjoyable fit.
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Sicilian-Style: Stop and smell the basil.
Obviously, this is a play on “stop and smell the roses.” I’m channeling my Mama here. She always stops to enjoy the subtle and beautiful details in life. She can’t chop basil without first taking in its aroma. She is present in the moment and enjoying her life’s details. Being around her feels pleasant, lovely, and calming.
Coach-Approved: Being present in the moment helps you be grateful for the gifts in your life. Research shows that being mindful in the moment and practicing gratitude improves well-being.
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Sicilian-Style: Surround yourself in beauty.
Growing up, I was surrounded by beauty thanks to my Dad’s eye for it and my Mom’s effort to create it. We lived in a warm, open-room home. My Mom grew vegetables, herbs, and flowers in her outside garden. And, we were surrounded by green, flourishing plants inside our home. Having fresh food and fresh-cut flowers in our home brought us closer to nature. As an adult, I crave being outside doing anything – eating or being active – more often.
Coach-Approved: Eckhart Tolle states in A New Earth: Awakening To Your Life’s Purpose that the recognition of beauty (in particular, in nature) helped the evolution of human consciousness. The recognition of beauty awakens us to our true nature. “The feelings of joy and love are intrinsically connected to that recognition.”
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Sicilian-Style: Express yourself!
This probably doesn’t need much explanation. As many of you know, being Italian/Sicilian means you’re going to share your feelings. Growing up, sometimes I would jokingly think I wish I didn’t know everyone’s feelings all the time. Now, I appreciate how I know where I stand with someone who is open to sharing their feelings. Of course, it’s important that your feelings are shared to the right degree, in the right moment, to the right person.
Coach-Approved: Feel your feelings and express your truth. It’s so important to not suppress or deny yourself of your emotions. You’ll gain clarity and will feel seen, heard, and known on a deeper level.
As you can see, many of these principles align with overall healthy tenets you know and probably practice (on some level) such as being true to yourself, experiencing pleasure and joy, and connecting with others. Hopefully, you feel like these fun ways of living can be easily remembered and further incorporated in to your daily life if they aren’t already. They don’t require big changes or huge shifts in thinking. With small tweaks or recognition of how they already exist in your life, you’ll be living a more beautiful life immediately.
What can you shift today to have a more beautiful life?
