“Let There Be Peace on Earth and Let That Peace Begin with Me.”

I know this has been a challenging year for so many of us. I choose to find blessings in difficult times. But, I know that isn’t always easy. So, no judgement if that is not how you’re feeling.

But, it has been one of the toughest years in my personal life. So, I leveraged gratitude plus other coaching tools and concepts–such as practicing mindfulness and being curious–to navigate these difficult times with as much grace as possible. And, I also focused on what I learned this past year. When my aunt passed away in April and we weren’t allowed to be close to our cousins due to quarantine restrictions, I learned to really connect with my family via meaningful eye contact. You can show a lot of love with just one look. While I wasn’t seeing people in person due to quarantine restrictions, I found many angels amongst my family and friends who were willing to help me in various ways. And, when there were topics that came up dividing our nation, I noticed I remained curious to try to bridge the gap between us.

How I Found My Peace

While reflecting on how I can share these tools and my learnings with others, I noticed that something beyond my coaching tools has been instrumental in harnessing my inner peace and harmony when being with others. It’s probably more of a coping mechanism developed when I was younger. It helped me to survive throughout most of my life. And, thanks to my spiritual coach Frani Rubens I clearly understood it was to see unity through our differences. I grew up in a Sicilian household but lived in America. In many ways, that was such a blessing. But, this kind of childhood also had challenges. Imagine being the only kid showing up at school with an egg and artichoke frittata sandwich while others had PB&J sandwiches? Or, having lasagna at Thanksgiving dinner. Or, enjoying an Italian version of fruitcake as you can see in the photo above. All of these scenarios sound great to me now! But, as a kid, all I felt was different. And, like I didn’t belong. As you can imagine, the differences were much more significant than food choices.

How I Survived

So, I spent most of my childhood explaining my interactions at school to my Sicilian parents and my Sicilian traditions and values to my American friends. If I didn’t attempt to understand others, have them understand me, or find connection points, I wouldn’t have made it. I would have felt even more isolated and alone. So, I began to search for all sides and perspectives to many situations and even appreciate that an answer could be on a spectrum. Not black or white. Could you consider that there is no right or wrong answer in some cases? This way of living also helps me in my coaching career. I often show people a different perspective which helps to propel them in to action they might need to take to achieve a goal versus a static way of thinking. They don’t have to deny a perspective. Just notice that another one might serve them better.

How I Thrived

Ultimately, the biggest learning for me over the years is that making something wrong including a perspective you have or side of you isn’t healthy. It’s like denying a part of you. I could have denounced my American values or my Sicilian values. But, over time, I learned to accept them both, honor them, and at times leverage the aspect of me that served me better in the moment. This approach to my life allowed me to integrate various sides so I could feel more whole, grounded, and balanced.

A newer concept that I’ve learned over the last few decades has helped me to do so. It’s understanding we all have masculine and feminine qualities within us. Similar to how I felt like I had two sides to me–my American and Sicilian sides–these masculine and feminine qualities can seem like they’re opposing each other, but they can be complementary and support each other. For example, with my coaching, I provide quality service with reliability (masculine) and hold a space for people’s growth and evolution (feminine). To learn more about integrating your masculine and feminine qualities, check out this article Embrace Your Fun, Feminine Energy for More Joy.

So, I now see how the dichotomy of my cultures and internal qualities have served me. I learned how to “be with” those differences and how it has helped me. What if we could apply this approach of acceptance, honoring, understanding, and choosing what’s right in the moment for you to others in our lives?

How You Can Find Peace

Again, this is my experience. I share it in case it might inspire others to feel unity in our polarities. This whole year and I now realize most of my life, I’ve thought I don’t want to hate anyone or a particular group. I can clearly see now that I have this approach because not having it would would have meant having to hate a part of me. Denying a version or side of me. When we’re fragmented or denying something, we’re in turmoil.

How You Can Thrive

So my mission has become to help people learn to accept themselves and hopefully others to live with more peace, joy, and ease. With acceptance, we can really shine our true selves. I know when we do, we naturally attract all that we desire.

So maybe this coping mechanism has helped me thrive in a way, huh? Here’s to celebrating your unique way to shine and thrive. I appreciate your possible different way of being. Sending love for you to thrive!