My Little “Secret”
If you look closely at the photo, you’ll see I wear hearing aids. I’ve only worn them consistently for a couple of years. But, I have genetic hearing loss. A little gift from my Dad and his Dad. When I was young, I didn’t tell anyone. I sat close to the teacher, I asked people to repeat themselves, and I inconspicuously cupped my ear to hear better. It takes a lot of energy and focus for me to hear. And, for so long, I didn’t ask for help.
I didn’t tell anyone (except my family knew, of course). I made up practical excuses for why I didn’t tell people. At work, I convinced myself that I might be seen as incompetent or “less than” in some way. So, I worked extra hard to prove myself. It was exhausting, but seemed noble at the time.
“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
– Brene Brown
Finally, it was time to own my truth. I knew that I couldn’t keep up the mask any longer. It wasn’t helping. I was missing out on those jokes shared under people’s breath. I couldn’t sing along to any songs because I didn’t know the words. (But, who really does?! At least, I have an excuse.) Most importantly, I was cutting myself off from connecting with people because it was just easier to retreat than try to hear them.
I saw how not sharing my truth was holding me back (more than sharing it ever would).
Sharing My Truth
So about 10 years ago, I started telling friends about my hearing loss which was met with mixed reactions. Some extra attentive and some teasing me about it. My heart would melt with those who were helpful. And, sometimes I laughed at the teasing and sometimes I was hurt — questioning why did I open myself up. But, I knew it was worth it. I reminded myself that some people didn’t know how to “be with” vulnerability and some just couldn’t believe it (since my hearing loss isn’t apparent to everyone). After I told people at work, it was mostly met with offers to help (as I suppose it’s not as acceptable to make fun of me – – to my face – – there:-) Nonetheless, I was grateful for the help.
In fact, I became so grateful for every person who spoke up when I asked, or faced me so I could read their lips, or put the phone in the conference room closer to the speaker so I could hear better. I was humbled by their efforts.
Then 2 years ago, I began researching for the best hearing aids given that the technology had improved so much over the last 10 years. I finally have a pair of hearing aids that allow me to have a better quality of life and honor my truth.
Strength and Power in Vulnerability
These days, people almost seem impressed when I tell them that I wear hearing aids. Their face reveals a look as if they just heard a pleasant surprise. I believe they see my vulnerability as a strength in that moment. No pity. With acceptance of my situation, I share it in a matter-of-fact way and alert them that I might not respond if I’m not facing them.
And obviously, there is power in being able to hear. So, I increase the odds of hearing with hearing aids and requesting what I need from people.
What are you holding back about yourself or not accepting? How is that serving you – really? And, what could you share that could shift your life into a more loving and gracious experience?
I’d love to hear from you. No pun intended:-)
Or, if you want support in being more vulnerable to get better results in life, work, or love, please reach out – – Rosie@InnerBrillianceCoaching.com. Or, set up a time here to talk.
P.S. If you’re interested in which hearing aids I use, check out this link from Resound.
