During February, there is obviously a lot of conversation around love, self-love, and the general topic of having what our hearts’ desire. So, I was drawn to this quote which reminds us that we have the lead role in experiencing what we want if we could just be who we really are. Sounds easy!
The Obstacle
What gets in the way of being you? I can go into the importance of “self-love.” But, “be yourself” and “love yourself” sound like vague platitudes that make me wonder do I love myself? Sure, I do. Well, I love most of myself. Don’t I? How do I know?
Here’s a way to find out. Are there areas of your life where you don’t feel satisfied or where you know you could feel happier? If so, you can ask are you being who you really are…telling your truth? Acting in alignment with it? Trusting your gut? Asking friends, family, co-workers, and partners for what you really need and want? Or, do daily requests and your to-do list take over the direction of your life?
You might realize you’re not being who you really are, but you’re being who you think you should be… what if you’re the main obstacle standing in the way of feeling more satisfied?
Most often, we wait for our circumstances to change to do what we want or to feel happier, but the shift that makes the most difference in your life is “being” more yourself. This understanding makes the path to being happier and loving your life much easier because it starts with YOU! But, how can you be more “you” with all of life’s responsibilities?!
The Secret Solution
Well, don’t worry. I’m going to tell you the missing element to being who you really are and even loving yourself and your life…it’s self-acceptance.
You can stop judging yourself and what you know will make you truly feel happier. With self-acceptance, you’ll be more aware of and open to what gives you true pleasure and meaning. With that information, you’ll be better equipped to know what you need to do to feel happier. And, you’ll be inspired to explore more of the exciting opportunities that come up in life.
So, how did we get to this point of not accepting ourselves? From the moment we are born, we are perfection – – i.e., love and light. (No one ever tells a baby to get a better attitude or to improve their weaknesses, right?) But, over time we are programmed to question who we really are — our inherent love and inner light – – i.e., our inner knowledge, inner guidance system, and what we stand for OR our sense of self-worth.
How do you learn to “accept” yourself and reconnect with this natural state of love and light — your essence — which is integral to leading a fulfilling life? By being a good friend to yourself, the way you are to others. Leo Buscaglia (PhD), states in his book, Love: What Life Is All About, “You can only give to others what you have yourself.” So, by accepting yourself and giving yourself what you need, you’re also opening the door for more acceptance and love for others!
Discover Yourself
Uncover what has meaning for you (not your family or friends or society). Honor and live your life in accordance with what is important to you, to ensure you pursue your true purpose.
Support Yourself
Become aware of what makes you feel good and energizes you. Evaluate any factors that contribute to inhibiting your inspiration and determine how to gradually minimize them in your life. Then, fill up your life with more thoughts, activities, and people that bolster your energy and strengthen your foundation.
Respect Yourself
There are many aspects to each of us, all created to help us live in this world. Some aspects (e.g., being in control) may have become exaggerated over time and can do more harm than good. Regardless of their nature, they represent who you are, so it’s important to avoid judgment, appreciate yourself, and embrace them as they serve you well. Simply notice them and ask …what am I meant to learn?
Trust Yourself
Follow your intuition. It is based on your natural inclination. If you are aware of and living in harmony with your true self, your inner guidance system will lead you right where you should be lighting the way for your story to unfold authentically. Trust that you have the answers and you will find them, while you are on your true life path.
Love Yourself
Look at your core qualities and what you stand for in this world, your true purpose. The manifestations of these qualities (e.g. accomplishments on a resume) are temporary; they aren’t as important as your essence which is infinite.
Knowing self-acceptance is key to living a happier and more fulfilling life, practice these principles and be your own #1. Notice “fulfilling” implies being full or satisfied, in other words enough. You are (good) enough. You are perfect just as you are now. With this loving mindset, you are healthier and in a better place to contribute, resulting in all that you desire – – solid relationships, effectiveness, and a quality life.
Let the love in and your light shine!
