Uncertain Times

Knowing uncertain times can feel scary, I often like to re-frame fears. It helps to remain calm. When we’re calm, we have access to better solutions. I was recently reminded about how I re-framed my Dad going into hospice after he was diagnosed with ALS. For this type of disease, patients are recommended to go in to hospice care sooner than what is typical given the difficult nature of caring for them.

In any case, hearing this news from his care team was heartbreaking. But, having to tell my parents was even harder. I couldn’t even utter the word “hospice” much less share what was about to happen next.

New Perspective

Then, I thought about how the origin of this word was related to “hospitality” which I think of as caring for others. I shared this concept with my sister who loved it. And, instead of thinking of my parents’ lives completely changing and my Dad’s life ending, I thought of it as a time to prepare my parents to live the rest of their lives. It was comforting and calming. This perspective enabled us to talk about topics as difficult as wills and “do not resuscitate” instructions.

So, for a few days my sister and I only referred to the service as “hospitality.” We even asked the hospice care providers if they’d call themselves “hospitality” when they came over to first talk with my parents. (Apparently, that’s illegal.) I know this approach may sound silly, but it helped us to transition to the reality of our situation. It helped us be able to support my parents with practical next steps while showing them the love they deserved.

Whether you’re a working parent, small business owner, or in a compromised situation, hope you can find a perspective (maybe even a benefit during a difficult situation) that will help you through tough times.

P.S. The photo above was one of the last outings we had as a family. Although this event was months prior to him going in to hospice, it was like we knew this moment was precious. I’m grateful we could treasure it and our time together.