As we know, many of us struggle with putting ourselves first. Obviously, this is due to negative thoughts we have associated with being our own #1 priority. This topic came up when I was working with a client to help her genuinely believe that acting upon her feelings and desires – – even though they appeared to conflict with another person’s desires – – was in everyone’s best interest. Logically, she knows this is true, and we re-framed her negative associations (with putting herself first) to be more positive because she’s worth it! After she was more aware on a conscious level why putting herself first was imperative, I wanted to find a fun and motivating way to help her subconscious believe being #1 is acceptable. (I hope it goes without saying that I don’t mean selfishly dismissing other people’s needs. If so, we can have another post about that topic;-) In any case, I wanted to find a visual that reminded her she needs to be considered #1 from her perspective so others would treat her well, too. And the “We’re #1” visual seemed perfect to help seed the new belief while keeping sabotaging thoughts at bay. The visual had to serve both purposes because whenever we try to change our views on a topic, our negative self-talk gets louder. The negative talk aims to convince us to maintain the status quo and believe the same way we’ve always believed because our brain is comfortable when it’s dealing with familiar territory. If I gave her a visual that focused only on her, it might make her think about her deeply embedded negative beliefs associated with being her own priority. Ideally, the “We’re #1” image served as a reminder that we ALL need to be our own #1. She didn’t have to question or doubt the belief that we all need to take responsibility for prioritizing ourselves and our happiness in order for everyone to win. Therefore, using a little trickery (or in this case, taking a baby step) toward defining and rooting a new, more empowering belief is ok. You and your brain will thank you for it. So, what small step can you take toward embracing a new belief that will serve you well?
